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The
trouble with life is there's no background music.
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Stress is
when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
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I used to
be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
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In
America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
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Taxation
WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
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Alcohol
and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
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Veni,
Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.
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My mother
is a travel agent for guilt trips.
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My wife
keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that).
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My dog
can lick anybody.